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Match support

Before, during and after a match: what should I say?

Your child needs a parent on match day, not a second coach. Agree on the support they want, keep your reactions steady and let technical feedback come from their coach.

2 minute read
01

Before: settle the day, not the result

Prepare the practical details early. Then keep the tennis message short: “Enjoy competing. Keep trying. I’m with you whatever the score.”

Ask: “Would you like encouragement, quiet or help getting organised?” Nervousness does not need a motivational speech. It needs a manageable next step.

  • Avoid predictions, comparisons and last-minute technical instructions.
  • Agree on one controllable goal, such as using a between-point routine.
  • Check the event’s coaching rules instead of assuming what parents may say.
02

During: make your body language safe to read

Children notice sighs, pacing, head-shaking and tense conversations in the stands. Watch with a steady posture and respect both players.

Do not coach unless the event explicitly permits it. If you feel yourself becoming visibly frustrated, step away briefly rather than making the child manage your emotions.

  • Applaud appropriate effort and good play without reacting to every error.
  • Let the player ask an official for help with scoring or a dispute.
  • Keep the match separate from your own hopes, spending or travel effort.
03

After: connect before reviewing

Start with: “I loved watching you play.” Then offer a choice: “Would you like food, quiet or to talk?” Save analysis until the child is ready.

Later, ask “What are you proud of?” or “What would you like to take into the next match?” Do not replay every lost point in the car. Leave detailed technical correction to the coach.

A parent listening to a junior player during a quiet conversation beside the court.

USTA Player Development coaches discuss how parents can support a child’s positive tennis experience.

This video reflects US terminology and competition context. Check your local governing body and event rules. Captions were unavailable when this video was reviewed.

Watch on YouTube

Put it into practice

What parents can do

  • Agree on the child’s preferred support before arriving.
  • Use one short, result-free pre-match message.
  • Keep visible reactions neutral after mistakes.
  • Let the child choose when to discuss the match.

Choose the right next step

Who to contact—and what to say

  • Coach: “What are parents allowed to say during this event?”
  • Coach: “What one process goal are you asking my child to focus on?”
  • Coach or an appropriate wellbeing professional: “Match days repeatedly end in fear, withdrawal or conflict. What support should we put in place?”

Evidence basis

Sources used for this guide

Last editorial update 25 July 2026

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