Before, during and after a match: what should I say?

Prepare the practical details early. Then keep the tennis message short: “Enjoy competing. Keep trying. I’m with you whatever the score.”

Ask: “Would you like encouragement, quiet or help getting organised?” Nervousness does not need a motivational speech. It needs a manageable next step.

• Avoid predictions, comparisons and last-minute technical instructions.
• Agree on one controllable goal, such as using a between-point routine.
• Check the event’s coaching rules instead of assuming what parents may say.

Children notice sighs, pacing, head-shaking and tense conversations in the stands. Watch with a steady posture and respect both players.

Do not coach unless the event explicitly permits it. If you feel yourself becoming visibly frustrated, step away briefly rather than making the child manage your emotions.

• Applaud appropriate effort and good play without reacting to every error.
• Let the player ask an official for help with scoring or a dispute.
• Keep the match separate from your own hopes, spending or travel effort.

Start with: “I loved watching you play.” Then offer a choice: “Would you like food, quiet or to talk?” Save analysis until the child is ready.

Later, ask “What are you proud of?” or “What would you like to take into the next match?” Do not replay every lost point in the car. Leave detailed technical correction to the coach.